soul whispers v3.0 // version:reflective

Note: This post was in response to someone saying that their SBs wanted to front, but didn't know how. Not everyone's SBs want to, are capable of, or should front. Fronting is a very powerful experience for both the Bonder and the person fronting, and can be very emotionally intense. Only try anything contained in this tutorial if you are aware that your SBs truly want to front, and you're prepared for that. Obviously, if you don't know what fronting is, don't go anywhere near this document until you've done your research.

First, be aware that forcing this is a bad idea. I'll tell you that in no uncertain terms. For me at least, when SBs front it can be physically and emotionally confusing and draining, both for them and for you. However, if they actually *want* to...... With Kirika, it's usually an experience or some kind of external stimulus that will "trigger" her enough that she needs/wants to come out and look. (Yes, the concept of "triggers" is very Old-Style Survivor Multiples, but it's often the case in much the same way as the sound of your mother talking to one of your friends at the door would trigger you to go down and have a look, even if you were currently absorbed in a video game and very distanced from the physical world at the time. There's nothing magical about it, just simple curiosity and interest.) Although no one's ever called her by her name to her (my? Our?) face, I get the feeling that that would actually be enough of a curiosity trigger, so if you have any physical-world friends who "get" SBing, try getting them to talk with the person in question and talk to them by name. If they have a favourite piece of music, etc., try playing that and closing your eyes, and letting them connect with the music. (If they're from a particular anime or series, they may well have a "theme song" or a particular piece of music associated with them, which could be a good starting point, as long as they don't have any bad memories associated with it.) Favourite anime/book/subject? Let them watch/read/study. (If you're lucky, you might even get SBs who want to do your homework. Don't count on it, though. ;) ) Favourite hobby? As long as you're actually prepared to let them do it, this might be encouragement enough. Also, visual stimuli can be important, both for getting SBs to front, and also for getting yourself back to the front if you need to; try looking at a picture of them, watching the series they're in, etc., getting their form really clear in your head (if it isn't already; I do this because my mental images of people quickly go vague. I have no memory for faces, in the spiritual or in the physical world, sadly). Then close your eyes and imagine their physical form superimposing over your body - their hair, clothes, weight/height, any particular features about them. Similarly, if someone's being stubborn and you need the body *now*, try looking in a mirror or other reflective surface (e.g. your reflection on a computer screen), or looking at a pic of yourself on an ID card/other card you carry with you. (Actually, that's an idea - making all your SBs ID cards with their pictures, for that purpose. Of course, you have to make sure they don't go around showing them in shops and things, although it could be funny, I guess. ^_^;) Of course, this only works if a) you co-front (like me), meaning you have at least minor control of your body when they're out, and b) you actually identify with your physical image. If you don't, you can use an image of your spiritual/astral/"true" form (e.g. a picture you drew of yourself as you see yourself in your mind's eye), an item that's very dear to you (e.g. a piece of clothing with the scent of a lover/family member, etc.), something like that. Whatever works to get them out also works to get you out. If they're being fine and co-operative but they just want to go back inside and you want to take over, you can try the same techniques you used to bring them to the front to bring yourself back; music, things like that. Also, thinking about stuff like your parents, your school/college/uni, things that ground you to your Earth-world life.

[not-entirely-serious] Another (so far untested) technique for getting SoulBonds to front, as suggested by Laura, is Men's Pocky. ^_^ Of course, that would depend entirely on whether the SB in question *liked* Men's Pocky. ^_~; And giving of man-flavoured Pocky is probably not a recommended course of action. ^_^;;;;;; [/not-entirely-serious]

As I said before, forcing = bad, so only do these things if *they* say they want to front. If they do, you should have very few problems, although be aware - if it happens with you anything like it happens with me, their emotions will hit you like a ton of bricks the first time. The situation *will* get better and, providing you're patient with them and don't yell at them and start blaming them for ruining your life, they should get used to being near the front in time, and you'll become more comfortable with each other. (Remember, it's scary for them too - imagine stepping into *their* world. Sure, fun to be in Ohtori High or aboard a starship - for the first five minutes, until you realise you have to start coping with normal life in that world and being surrounded by unfamiliar people, places, scenarios etc.......)

Also, until you're both "experienced" at it, don't try this unless you're prepared to spend the day (or at least a few hours) with them. This is not something to be done five minutes before class, unless you like the thought of your SBs talking to your teacher and classmates, and taking your notes. ^_^;;;; Be aware that you may not be able to persuade them to return back inside easily, especially if they find they like it, so arrange it on a day when you have few commitments and can afford to burn a few hours having them surf the Internet/walk in the park/blare music/write/draw/paint/eat chocolate/whatever. When they're fronting, it's really not a good idea to push them out of the way suddenly unless you really have to - it'll have much the same effect on them as it would if someone pushed you out of the way of something you were enjoying. Let them go back in gradually, if at all possible. Also, once they start doing this, if they like it they'll want to do it more often, so be prepared for them to become a regular or semi-regular part of your life.

Be aware also that even once they do return to the inside or their own world after fronting, they're likely to hover around near the front for sometime afterwards. Just speaking from personal experience, but it's very unlikely that an SB will take the helm and then disappear completely afterwards, unless they're really that type. This closeness can last for a long time, and may well be stronger than you're used to.

When they're out or near front, be careful of their limits. It's a good idea if you can talk to them about this beforehand, but sometimes they won't know until they actually face the situation itself. If you know their history, be aware of things they may be scared of or that may bother them, and approach these cautiously (or avoid them, if you can). Depending on how fully they front, you may or may not be able to have much control over where they go, but if you at least have semi-bodily control, pay attention to any strong feelings you get from them about certain things. Remember that, in the case of outsourced SBs, the majority of them have hard and complicated pasts simply by virtue of being "interesting" enough to be characters in a story. Likely as not, these things are what connected you to them in the first place. These people are likely to be fragile and have a lot of emotional hangups, even if they don't outwardly show it - be gentle with them. Being careful of their limits also means not pushing them too much. If they want to front and it's possible in the situation, let them, but having them hopping back and forth all day at the very start is draining on both them and you. Start slowly.

As a rule of thumb, I'd reiterate that it's a good thing to do it with a friend who understands SBing, if you can. It can be lonely to come out into the "real world" and suddenly have no friends and no one to talk to, plus the person can help both with getting them to front *and* with being a stimulus for yourself to come back out. Friends in the "real world" who understand SBing are pretty hard to come by, admittedly, but if you do have any it's always a good idea to get them involved from day zero. Suggest what you're planning to do, discuss any possible problems or issues, get them to ask you questions.

Finally, and most importantly, remember that anyone who can front is a person in their own right. Treat them as such, and respect them as such; and be aware of the changes this might make to all of your lives before doing it.

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